As my beautiful wife and I were enjoying a stroll through the wonderful evening, I caught a bright orange light coming out from the left corner of my eye. Turning to face the abomination, I sneered, "would you look at that! Some of the Genevan overzealous already has them blanking Christmas lights! Why, there oughtta be legal … ”
But before I could finish my rant inspired, my partner sainted distracted with something even more terrible than Christmas in October. When he said, "they are not Christmas lights, You idiot. They are Halloween, "I almost ran home to hide in the crawlspace.
"Halloween lights!?" I cried out. "They can't Halloween lights because there is no such thing as Halloween lights. Why, when I was a young carefree youth in Evanston, nobody dared to have Halloween lights. That would make them laughing throughout the environment. "
But when I went online with the hope to issue a final and decisive, "Ha!," to my utter dismay, I found out that Halloween lights actually exists. "Mother of all things sacred," I'm the little monk wailed.
It took me a month to recover from the psychological damage inflicted by the optic nerve-destroying the Christmas show, and now we have to deal with this crime against humanity? Isn't horrible enough that we provide costumed ill-mannered Urchin license to attack the environment with their insatiable demands for sweet rewards?